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Back to Reality

Updated: Dec 7, 2023

Back to reality. I got to the subway. In my head like a red flashing light appears a question: Am I on the wrong planet? I have to learn to breathe again. I feel like I was here for the first time…

I feel a bit like a tourist, for example, for me would be like in Japan. Everything is new, different, vibrations, people… I have been here before. Many times. But this time everything is different, it's new. I feel as if I was restored the original memory, and was taken the short-lived one (if the memory is in linear time?). As if I was reset from the matrix and taken into a zero state of being in order to come back here with this awareness to perceive differently. Difficult to describe.


I touch the walls as if they were soft and solid at the same time. I walk as if I wanted to walk through a column. I know I can, something stops me at the last minute. It is the mind – instantly shows its power. I am putting my foot on the sidewalk, on the ground uncertainly – like a child – who learns to walk and did not know if perhaps the earth does not move. It moves. I float. I touch the wall, again, it is soft. I have no body and I have a body. People are passing by like a gallery of images, avatars. I can see entanglements in between. They are moving, I look at them and I think (I think?) am I an alien whether they are aliens? Madhouse? Faces-faces-faces. Thousands of faces. I know them and I do not know. I can hear their thoughts. Take me to the silence.

Am I a guest here or am I for real?


I feel a lack of air, I am yawning, suffocating. Feeling of being the space embraces me. It feels that there is a body, and if it was not at the same time… And now on the subway and I had to squeeze myself because otherwise I do not fit in the solid matter. I am space. Again, yawning, more oxygen please. I can see how my head already barely sticking out of the water… like I was drowning...


Walking down the street, I stop again, putting my foot like a child. I know that I did it a million times already, and I put it as if it was for the first time, gently, carefully, I feel uneven pavement. A grocery store sign has an intense color. Always was like this?


Again, I have an impression – as two years ago on Park Avenue – I see a hologram or something that has no name (it does not need to have one). I am and everything around me is like a spinning space. Like someone moved figurines and they began to walk quite neatly. As if someone pressed the start button and figurines go, cars drive, the stop button – figurines disappear, silence. Is someone playing with me or I am playing with something, someone? In the forest I see green energy. In the air I see golden dust. Really.


And these sounds? Can I hear different now? There is another vibration now. I recall music of Fredy and Arkawa – my soul calms down.


Climbing stairs. Can it really be as strange as if I was experiencing for the first time? Each step is different, I feel the difference. I’m looking for the key, I try to open the door – I feel like a child with a toy ‘fit a square into a square hole, a triangle into a triangle’. I open the door – succeeded. I learned a lesson.


Nothing will be the same. Touching the space of being and reset of programs means that nothing will ever be the same.


Although automatic doing comes without any problems. However, it all has a different taste… Tea tastes differently. Toothpaste is more mint. The shower water touches and caresses – always did? I feel every falling drop on the body. Was I so careless?


Am I on the wrong planet? Wait a minute… after all, there is no wrong. I am where I should be. I am different. I am in the most beautiful place of my being.


The key is to maintain a state of being which is the space and lightness, awareness, joy and love, infinite energy. Maintaining this state of density in the solidity. Hmm… I feel, however, that we are on the threshold of new possibilities and this is possible. The Earth contributes to this, to connect us with higher dimensions. The transition to the heart space where everything is possible and real. Yes, this is the way to go. For now is the time.


I have another calling. It will be deeper and more intense. The soul is the source. It shows everything. You get what you get. Each individually and in his process. Everything is a total reflection of your soul. All vibrations, experiences, visions, images, feelings. That is your soul as the source showing you, truly you.


Back to reality… actually I never went out… I only allowed myself to see what I am. I see golden dust, I see a geometrical grid filling the room, I put my hands into it and my hands become the grid and at the same time are my hands. Absolute.


Being is the absolute of the soul. Infinite.


And if that were every day? Are you willing to recognize that everything is new... every day? And that you are a tourist in Japan or anywhere, on any planet every day? And you do look at things like you saw, experienced them for the first time… in total awareness and mindfulness.

You are absolute.


*** This post’s image was painted by me, it came to me the day before the Ayauasca ceremony. The soul is the source. This post is a reflection, experience from the ceremony and after.

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